Saturday, September 10, 2011

What Should I Have Done?

Years ago, back when I still sorta participated in human mating activities, I started seeing a lovely young woman I will call "Lenore."  She was smart and cute and fun and stylish and quirky and creative and cool and I really enjoyed her company.  But whenever we were together I felt a weird vague unease.  At first, I couldn't put my finger on why, so I just ignored it.  Denial makes all bad things go away!

But when I got together with her and the unease came back, I was so consumed trying to figure out what the weirdness was about that I couldn't just relax and enjoy Lenore's company.  Then it hit me... from certain angles she kinda looked like my mom in her youth.


Yeah.  That's a problem.  I mean, my mom is a very nice person and all, and was certainly attractive in her day, but you know... it's my mom.  I believe the scientific response would be: Ew, gross.

Of course, it was only from certain angles.  From other angles she looked nothing like my mom.  And Lenore was really very attractive from all angles, regardless of who she resembled.  I tried to ignore this too.

But no.

Because I was trying so hard to pretend there was no actual resemblance, or that it wasn't an issue, it took me a while to resign myself to the fact there was just no hope of any boners in her presence. 

She soon noticed that despite how well we were getting along, nothing was really developing between us, and she wanted to know why I was holding back.  She asked me if anything was bothering me.

I didn't want to hurt her feelings and I didn't want to lie.  I rationalized that since the situation was nobody's fault, completely out of our control and just one of those unfortunate life things, the truth wouldn't offend her.  So I told her, as gently as I could, that she kinda resembled my mom (a young and lovely version of course).

Though she did her best to remain composed, I'm pretty sure she was deeply offended and weirded out.  And I never saw or heard from her again.

But what else could I have done?  I mean, really?

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