Remember how I said I wanted to give up the alcohol completely?
Well thanks to those lousy stinking Puritans who infected this continent with their idiotically lame morals, it is just stupidly difficult to get laid without one or more of the relevant parties being drunk. I knew there was a reason to loathe those accursed Puritans.
I've never traveled much. I've never been outside of NAFTA's jurisdiction. Never really had the urge. But now I'm seriously curious about what it would be like to try getting laid in a country that wasn't founded by completely uptight assholes. And with the vacation time I've accrued...
So, of the foreign places I'd like to go get laid in, several come immediately to mind... India, Israel, France, Black Rock City, Holland, Denmark, Romania and maybe Australia.
Partly due to this really wacky article, and partly due to the fact that all my friends who have been there wax poetic about the hotness of Israeli girls, I'm actually leaning toward Israel. I can hardly believe it myself.
But thanks to assholes again, the price of oil is so high that a flight to Israel costs more than the gross national product of Israel.
Is there a way I could ride my bike to Israel?