Monday, July 7, 2008


Not feeling up to writing much today. If you check this space regularly, you probably noticed I took the last two days off. Holiday weekend and all. Entitles me to a break, no? And I certainly didn't want to spoil everybody's fun with rantings and ravings about the hypocrisy of celebrating U.S. Independence Day. (I have trouble staying on the shiny happy surface of things. It's a hang-up. Sue me.) In fact, I didn't really even get to see the fireworks as I stupidly left my apartment too late, forgot they close the east river bridges to foot and bike traffic and thus was stuck in the subway while the ceremonial bombs were bursting in red-glare air. But if you've seen one fireworks display, you've seen 'em all. Unless they, like, blow up the moon or something.

In other news, I hear that people like drama. But I lead a pretty drama-free life. Or at least, I try to. (I succeed.) To the outside observer, my existence probably seems very boring. But to those of you observing my life from inside my brain (you know who you are) the picture looks very different. (Of course, you know that already.) For the benefit of readers who don't parasitically feed off the energetic emanations of my pineal gland, suffice it to say I lead a richly imaginative inner life.

I do seem to be surrounded by people who create drama, often where there need not be any. Most of them are very young (fetuses) and so don't know any better. No, that's not true. They subconsciously know that without creating drama now, while they're young enough to withstand the nonsense, they won't have good stories to tell later. So I guess I should commend them. I was no different. Almost got me killed a few times. I'm definitely over it now though. And so, with that, I bid you all a resounding: "meh."

Nifty little tidbit: read on the internets that of the 69 US cities with populations above 250,000 people, ranking them in order of which enabled their inhabitants to accumulate wealth most easily, New York City ranked... any guesses?

Dead last.

As if that was even a question.

Ranked number one was Plano, Texas.

Proof positive that money isn't everything, can't buy happiness, can't buy me love and is the root of all evil.

And speaking of money, the dollar continues to fall. I guess I won't be going to Europe any time soon. But that does mean we'll be seeing ever increasing numbers of Europeans visiting NYC. As far as I'm concerned, this can only be a good thing (the Danish, e.g., are ranked the "happiest people in the world" which is equivalent to healthiest and most enlightened, so having more of them come here and rub off on us can only work in our favor -- not to mention, they're all pretty easy on the eyes).

An equally reliable source (those internets again) reports that Ugly Americans are no longer the most hated tourists in the world (woo hoo!) but rather the French and Chinese. Yeah, but this is only because with aforementioned plummeting dollar, we Ugly Americans can't afford to shit on anyone but ourselves at the moment (unless you count our military operations, which... no vacation for them either). We probably could afford to go shit on, maybe, the most decimated countries. And I bet they don't even get asked to participate in the "survey" that coughs up the "worst tourists" results, so we're in the clear!

Hmm... seems I've written a goodly amount today, especially for someone who didn't feel like writing anything. So I guess I'll sign off. Besides, the brain-energy-feeders need me to run some more errands for them -- it never ends with those guys! Almost like I work for them or something. Just as long as I don't have to kill again -- gotta draw the line somewhere.

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